Can I just shoot myself in the head to get all these horrible thoughts out. Someone just please crush my skull five billion times. Stomp on it until its a bloody mass of nothing embedded into the ground. My mind, heart and soul are hurting. Theyre crushed. But the pain is entrapped in this stupid skull of mine. I have to let it out. But that would be selfish to my future selves. I dont think my future selves would like that very much.

MUST GET PIERRE HERMÉ'S MACARON BOOK

It has all the how to's and not to do's on making the perfect macaron! Five star rating with clear pictures, easy recipes and now in english from one of the top chefs in the world. All I have to do is save up $40 to buy this sucker. If only english translations were cheaper..

Today was a beautiful day. I saw it in several stages. Once when it was dark and gloomy, pit pattering raindrops on my window sill; my kind of weather. The next a puffy cloud blue sky type of day with golden sun. The kind of weather where you answer "Il fait beau au'jourd hui" in french class and makes you want to go out for a walk. But I did nothing today. I spent half of my 4 hours awake eating and the other half feeling nauseous. Now I look back out my window and BAM another stage; back to the gloomy dark rain clouds of thunder and light. If only I could just have plans to do on rainy sundays but boo, there's no one to make plans with. Maybe I should try going to church on sundays. At least that'll give me something to do. But then again I shouldn't. Because that would be going for the wrong reason. And that would be bad.

Everybody's downstairs eating. I'm supposed to join them but my headache is stopping me from getting up and making the long trek below. I don't want soup. Why'd I say I wanted soup in the first place? I'm not hungry. I have that deep feeling in my stomach again. I feel dizzy. I have a headache. After 13 hours of sleep I still have a headache. I feel like the smell of chemicals and paint are all over my face and its taking away my fresh air. It's quite unpleasant.

Macaron Quest

▲ That's a really ugly thumb.

I must satisfy my craving to master creating the most perfect macaron. And yes it is spelled with only one "o". 17 dollars, three tries and one wannabe pistachio success later, I still have not fully succeeded. But at least they taste mouth melting delicious! I have learned more today about macaron baking in the last few hours than I ever have spent on countless computer hours searching for a better recipe. Macarons are simple at their best, but they have quite a finicky nature. One small mistake and they turn into a mold of ugliness leaving you discouraged and with one less egg no matter how great your recipe is. But practice I will and try again I shall despite the wasted eggs and determination. At least I find lovely new music along the way.

‎"I don't like buttercream. I don't like this mixture between butter... and sugar... it just tastes like... sweet fat." Baking meter is on high. Dulce delight how you inspire me.

Happy Ghoulings

How was your weekend? Oh my weekend was fine. I just don't remember it. And I don't mean I got crazy drunk and forgetful, I just mean my weekend was good enough to be fun in the moment, but not memorable. Does that mean my weekend sucked?

Saturday- Costume making and putting my sharpie skills to the test.



Sunday- Two year anniversary with the Supafob at Griffith LA Hayride Haunt. Despite the creepy atmosphere and unexpected frights, the scariest part was walking back to the car.. through the foggy woods at night.. with no lights to shine your way.. and hearing distant screams in the background.. Fun fun fun nonetheless!



Monday (Halloween) Nutella costume = fame, glory & beautiful bag of candy


Update: My mother scheduled my wisdom tooth appointment for Dec. 17th (the first day of winter break). This concludes a winter slumber of chipmunk cheek swelling, consuming nothing delicious, and pain. Well... at least I get to go to the Young the Giant concert the day before. I give myself that much before I subject myself to two weeks of tormentous gum-healing. I don't think I will give up snowboarding though. Chipmunk cheeks or not.