Confuzzled

The big bright yellow sun is back again. Hopefully not for long, this morning weather is perfect as it is. Just not later on.

So Ive been having this constant feeling/routine in my day where youre up then youre down. You feel great, everything that is wrong is just gone. You think everything is okay, that you got through it all. Then you start to somewhat think youre okay & soon its right up front in your face again. Youre terrified to feel it repeatedly. All you want is just to do what you want or what makes you happy, but apparently thats not enough. Its like you cant stay one thing, you cant be happy the whole day when you end up feeling like shit by the end of it. Youre like the freaking weather. Ever get that feeling? You can only hold up for so long.

Fukk, My mind is everywhere at the moment. There are so many things I wish I could have told you. Things I want you to realize and know. And now everything is all confuzzled and now its too late and I think Im starting to forget myself. Whats the matter with me? I just dont know what to do or what I want anymore. Im getting sick of waiting, or people nagging me to do what I want or dont want. I dont know whwat i fucking want. Yah I have a major major headache and everything aches. I am not at the greatest mood right now and I cant keep my eyes open. I feel as if in the next second Ill collapse. Mmm, Ill go take a very long nap now..

Chuck Norris Is The Reason Why Waldos Hiding

I think it started in the 90's. The 90s on a whole had no defining style, no independence what so ever. Unlike the the 80s, 70s, 60s etc, the 90s had wasnt really an era of new things. I suppose rave, but even that has been done better in recent years with the wave of nu rave and the resurgence of new wave and indie art rock bands.

I think what it is that I noticed about the 90s, my childhood, the decade I will look back on and say, yeah thats when I traveled here, this was when I was young and had the freaking time of my life, its quite simply boring. Everythings digital, cheap or cheaper or buy one get one free. Nothing is worth any value anymore, individuality, act and re-create music that sounds as if it would fit in a different decade all together.

Our generation has run out of new ideas. Everything is a fake version of something older. Try and hold and appreciate an illegally downloaded MP3. but even collecting records is cliche? Come on now.

the only orginal thing I think our generation created was its own language. LOL ROFL BRB OMG! And all the while, Id have to say, life.. isnt so bad. But its not great either. I want to go to so many places. & do so many things. Its just this one thing thats holding me back. I just need more excitement I guess.. Im craving some apple juice boxes right now.

Before I Forget

Microphone

Slow down, you are out of control
One of us is right, and one of us is wrong
And, I know that you're not coming home
There's nowhere to park, after it gets dark, yeah
Can't tell what I want when you sing
So keep it to yourself, I haven't missed anything

You are my voice, my microphone
You are my voice, so take me on
You are my voice

Slow down, you are out of control
It could be so easy if it didn't feel so wrong
And, warmed up and your hair is too long
What if I was young? What if I was younger?
And so, finally she showed
I never should have asked, it was a long time ago

You are my voice, my microphone
You are my voice, so take me on

One of us is right, and one of us is wrong
(This is not significant in anyway, I just love this so much)

Happy 15th

9 months already. Haa funny story. Its kinda unbelievable. Im in this mood where i really dont care about anything at all. Maybe its the nutella. My thoughts have been so insane lately. Im not even sure where I get these thoughts from. But ahh, I am not a very good blogger at the moment. Busy with school and such. Still, I haven't been so chilled in a long time. But I am keeping a secret from the world. And its just now slipping out.. What can I do? Ive realized that no matter how hard you plan for something its never gonna go the way you want it.

I know youve had it pretty hard these days. And I really do worry about you. I know that you got it covered. That youll make it out. But its just not fair. I didnt get enough time with you. If I could, I would kill them, no lie. You really do not deserve any of this. Im worried and I know you would say I don't need to be. But I am and I always will.

Anyways I think the only thing keeping me alive these days are the weekends. Its hard to focus on whats going on when all you really just want to do is sleep. Lay down and disconnect. I just want to learn how to dissapear completely until class is over and then I can get back to my daydreaming. FRIDAY PLEASE COME ALREADY.

Deadline

Life can be such a fuck up sometimes.

Relaxing Sunday

Today was a beautiful day. I woke up to the cold for once and For once, it stayed that way. Its too bad I had to spend most of this beautiful day inside white walls filling bubbles on an endless answer sheet. But thats okay because today was the perfect day to catch up. On everything, and my sleep.

"Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody really special, you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence." -Pulp Fiction (Just try watching it) Ahh October already?



I think I have a problem. Well its been a problem since early last year but lately its been getting worse. My procrastination is starting to hit me more than ever this year and I cant stop. I really cant help it, its just so much funner searching youtube videos than choosing to finish some pointless vocab sentences.