I just shoved my earring down my infected ear hole.. I hope this doesn't turn out horribly. It actually didn't hurt as much as I thought, but then my foot kicked the hair dryer and pain revisited my mind all over again.

"We have nothing if not belief." -C.S. Lewis

I've never fully experienced the grace of God. The only thing I remember of church (or much less opening the bible) is the itchy lace socks, after chinese lunches and random fully grown men on their knees sobbing uncontrollably. I never understood it. I only went because I had to, not because I wanted to. But nonetheless, the idea of God was embedded into my mind and I don't think I've ever lost the idea that God (or some other great force) exists. I guess I've just forgotten and lost my interest in him at the time. This didn't bother me until about two years ago when I started searching for God again (at my lowest point of course). But because I was expecting the impossible, I found my faith tested to the greatest length possible. And I failed the test becoming what any person becomes when their hopes are crushed and expectations not met: bitter. I became bitter at life, people, happy people, and especially in God. But not to the extent where I completely denounced the idea of his existence. Where I'm going with this almost rant explanation is that, now that I think about it, if it weren't for that tiny strand of faith still lingering in God, I might've never been able to refresh that faith again. And it isn't just a refreshed faith, but also an amazing friendship. Of all the events that couldve gone in the way, my summer came out to be like this and provided me with the ability to get closer in this friendship. Like "it happened for a reason." I should be thankful for everything I have and experience on a day to day basis. But Im trying. My beliefs are still swaying from side to side, dangerously unbalanced. But Im trying. Baby steps.

On a side note, I found the secret to insomnia. Well technically speaking, just sleeplessness. nahness.(Its eating!) After an adventure at Pasadena, its no wonder my minds still wide awake. And finally I go downstairs to satisfy my rumbly grumbles in my tumbles and melt myself a scoop of orgasm spinach cheese chip dip with a side of OJ to wash it all down. Now my eyelids are drooping as fast as Goldilocks getting food coma. But enough about now, I shall shortly update you about before! Life shall be good for this next week. Why? Because its my last week before school starts. GASP. The last week I can stay up till 3 AM just to eat spinach cheese chips... Well yes. School starts. Let me simplify my summer for you:

-5 AP tests were stolen = ruined expectations for adventures
-Fourth of July: BOAT ADVENTURE
-Spending my time with genuine hearts
-I learned how to pray. Yes pray. But I always end up crying for some reason.
-Working on perfecting the most perfect cream puffs and macaroons
-Visits to senior homes.
-Finished Charmander pillow, moving on to Wobbuffet then possibly $60 more for a Spongebob pillow
-Won 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 4th place in Dboat this year only by half a second. But we got 2nd place medals and a glass plaque my butterfingers held.
-Maroon 5 Concert July 25th at the Hollywood Bowl! Closest Ive ever been to Adam Levine, Javier Colon, Stevie Nicks, and TRAIN.
-Apparently about $400 were taken out of my bank account so my mother could pay the bills because my father fails to pay child support.
-Saving up for my very own car.
-Going to see a $500 Toyota for sale tomorrow!
-I have $2 left in my wallet. (in coins)

And now this song below is stuck on repeat in my head (go ahead, press play!)