Velocity

I finished my homework early today so time felt like forever. I just went through each class like nothing, almost passing out during lunch just to fall asleep. I just dont want to be there. Id much prefer to be home, either alone or with the one person Id feel comfortable enough to be completely silent with. I dont know why Ive been so sleepy. Its weird cause Ive even been sleeping like I should around 9 ish lately and Id wake up with an even more shitface than I would have if I slept at 2 am. Love how that works out.

Moving on. >>

My great escape has disappeared in the hands of my partners.

& Dean Koontz has just become my most favorite writer of all time in over a night.

Weve decided to read Velocity by Dean Koontz for an english project.

But for some reason every book store only holds one copy of any kind of book , except for Twilight.

Wtf.

Well Velocity is the type of book that hooks you in two pages into the story & wants to keep you reading & reading (unless the barnes and noble policy of having one book at each store gets in the way of your english project leaving you with the only choice to share the book with your partners), its pretty amazing.

He creates a world that is easy identifiable and makes he his readers paranoid of everything chilling them to the bone. His ingenious writing is so fucking fantastic I swear any of his writings are worth a second read. Which sucks because I cant read it tonight. Sighss.

Annyways, I think Ill go watch some british Galaxy series now. Ive also decided that everytime I blog, I will call my grandpa immediately after, depending on the time. I need to call my grandpa more.. That is all. Nightlaa.

"Rain rain stay today, keep the shitty sun at bay."

It really is a shame to hear that. I can say I saw it coming, but you of all people, I never really believed you would end up with those feelings also.

I have to close myself off like a box being taped up and put away. There is no way out, this is the actuality of it all. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be the only person to be forced to choose and make all the decisions and ruin your day. Really, what you told me is the very last thing Ive ever wanted to hear. But I guess its too late now. I cant change what has already changed. Suddenly I become a 'diamond in the triangle' as you put it. Wth does that mean.

And as for you, You say the more we change the less we feel. But its all in reverse now. You have everything you ever wanted, but I guess nothing you never really needed. Because youre not even happy now are you? I want you to see that you have so much to be happy for, and so many people to be there for. I would give up anything and everything to see it so things are easy for you again. Only problem is, youre not letting me.

Lately however, its been pretty good for me. Ive been feeling happy, but my mistakes keep coming back to me. Youre supposed to learn from your mistakes, right? Yet I don't feel any of it was a mistake, when others think otherwise. Am I not learning? Im not saying any of this to complain, Im saying it so maybe one person can explain my life to me. So someone can tell me what I need to hear, not what people think and tell me to hear. Then maybe I wont be as lost. I dont deserve to be happy with the choices Ive been left to. There are decisions. But all in all I cant help what is going to happen at this point, even if it is all up to me. There needs to be a part of me that could think undoubtedly.. I cant though. I need to be impelled to not feel, to not reason or trust, why should I otherwise when I always screw things up anyways?

Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smh Smhaha
~It didnt rain today btw. Awws.

"Do you have money? No, But we have the skill."

We lived by our skill and ventured into Urban where I found some pretty amazing deals which made yesterday pretty much a success! Other than the fact that I managed to loose my phone once again and temporarily go through a state of depression for the rest of the day. Hey, Loosing your phone is stressful business okay. You worry and wonder who in the world could have found it, if theyre some pedofreak & what you can do. You feel so lost without your phone. I guess its mainly because phones are now your connection to the world. Its ridiculous how loosing such a simple materialistic object can ruin ones mood nowadays isnt it?

There are days when I just want to stay home and do nothing but eat, sleep and repeat. But there are other days where I want to get the hell out of my house and that day is today. Too bad Im still in my pajamas and its already 3 pms. But then again, I did spend all of last morning watching Dawn of the Dead and stupid infomercials to help me fall asleep. Which isnt that great since I started seeing zombies everywhere. Speaking of zombies, what in the heyell is with all the apocalyptic movies coming out? Whether its a zombie manifestation or global warming, or tornadoes in LA, I really think people are taking this end of the world business too seriously. Its just a trend, just like how fohawks, and walnuts recent beautiful thunderstorms will come and go. Sos, enough of that.

I feel like I need everyone else so much more than they need me. I have all these wonderful ideas floating around in my mind of places to go and people to see, but there is no way to actually work them out. & my connection to the world is still lost in Pasadena. So I guess Ill be relaxing at home today. Thats discouraging. You probably don't care but I just high scored blockstar tetris. Yessss!

The Tetris Effect

The Tetris effect occurs when an activity to which people devote sufficient time and attention begins to overshadow their thoughts, mental images, and dreams. People who play Tetris for a prolonged amount of time may then find themselves thinking about ways different shapes in the real world can fit together, such as the boxes on a supermarket shelf or the buildings on a street.

Ouh hey, no wonder Ive been seeing tetris everywhere.

Fun with Omegle

Stranger: asl please
You: Why
Stranger: j/w
You: Well not from rhode island
Stranger: where r u from
You: Mexico
Stranger: coool
You: You should like, try talking without one word answers
You: It helps the conversation run smoother
Stranger: ok sooo im steve wuts ur name
You: Kevin
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Are you paid to do this?
You: And talk to strangers
Stranger: cool
Stranger: no
Stranger: why r u asking?
You: Why do you try to know them first by knowing their sex and place in the universe? Why cant we just talk about our life and about our problems?
You: How was your day?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is why people have problems of being friendly to one another these days since everyone out there are either creepers or have the potential to be one.