I just awoke from an actually really peaceful and relaxing nap. I dont usually have peaceful, relaxing naps. Maybe its the new bed sheets.. Who knew new bed sheets could help your sense of sleep? But ever since I was forced to change them to these storage smelling cotton gray sheets, Ive been sleeping like a dream. Which is good too since I have Finals in the next two days. I feel very much Intensely Amazing as of this moment.
I should be studying. I will blog later.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Crapdays
Freshman year is done. Finis.
Three years left. It’s almost over. Just three more days and three years. Why couldnt it just come by any faster? Even if I haven’t gotten to the places I thought I would be at this point, Im looking forward to the next three months of summer more than anything.
Lately, Ive been getting in this habit of loosing things. And you know how much I hate loosing things. My life is being bombarded by endless calamities that slowly contribute to the reason to why today was a really, really crappy day. I find myself wondering what the hell motivated me here in the first place. And these reasons arent even mine, theyre just so fucked up they affect my life much more than it may anyone else. Thats the kind of day I've been having lately.
But now, I am trying something new. Something a bit out of the ordinary (at least for me). It may not even work, but could end up to be better than nothing at all. I spent years trying to make people feel comfortable and happy. Now, Im just done. Im done trying to make people satisfied when they clearly do not deserve to feel that way. Im done pretending I care about something just to feel like I belong or need someone to be with so I wouldnt feel alone. Im sick of the people taking advantage of my gullible nature. I would be feeling a million things as of now; yet overall, Im just relieved. I dont even want to pretend. I dont see the reason to smile when theres nothing to actually smile to. How did I get here? To the point where my days are just an exercise of stamina? To the point where I wake up and scratch off a day on the calendar like a prisoner? Its a good thing theres only three more days left. Three last days and Ill finally be able to let out the biggest sigh of my life.. Till next year that is.
[19:40] kaycyong: You know what?
[19:40] kaycyong: Kyra Chu-ying Yong should be in your generals section.
[19:41] cammicam says: should she?
[19:42] cammicam says: whose that?
[19:45] kaycyong: That.. hurt.
[19:46] cammicam says: =)
Three years left. It’s almost over. Just three more days and three years. Why couldnt it just come by any faster? Even if I haven’t gotten to the places I thought I would be at this point, Im looking forward to the next three months of summer more than anything.
Lately, Ive been getting in this habit of loosing things. And you know how much I hate loosing things. My life is being bombarded by endless calamities that slowly contribute to the reason to why today was a really, really crappy day. I find myself wondering what the hell motivated me here in the first place. And these reasons arent even mine, theyre just so fucked up they affect my life much more than it may anyone else. Thats the kind of day I've been having lately.
But now, I am trying something new. Something a bit out of the ordinary (at least for me). It may not even work, but could end up to be better than nothing at all. I spent years trying to make people feel comfortable and happy. Now, Im just done. Im done trying to make people satisfied when they clearly do not deserve to feel that way. Im done pretending I care about something just to feel like I belong or need someone to be with so I wouldnt feel alone. Im sick of the people taking advantage of my gullible nature. I would be feeling a million things as of now; yet overall, Im just relieved. I dont even want to pretend. I dont see the reason to smile when theres nothing to actually smile to. How did I get here? To the point where my days are just an exercise of stamina? To the point where I wake up and scratch off a day on the calendar like a prisoner? Its a good thing theres only three more days left. Three last days and Ill finally be able to let out the biggest sigh of my life.. Till next year that is.
[19:40] kaycyong: You know what?
[19:40] kaycyong: Kyra Chu-ying Yong should be in your generals section.
[19:41] cammicam says: should she?
[19:42] cammicam says: whose that?
[19:45] kaycyong: That.. hurt.
[19:46] cammicam says: =)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Utter Amazement
Im sorry if my blog is starting to become more like a twitter account. I just dont have much to say, and when I do, I forget it and just summarize it into one sentence. Ehh well, Yeahh =D
Well, despite my expectations, I find myself placed in motion by memories so amazingly unreal until all that I am left with is the mark of stark realization that something beyond explanation is actually happening in my life. You, my dear Moonpie, are no Little Debbie. You might think youre in the same league as that crappy nutter butter knock off treat, though. Dare to dream, Mr. sugary snack. Dare to dream.
On that note, Im feeling for a snack. Why am I always so hungry now? But even if I see food at home, I cant eat it. Well, I choose not to eat it. Because its usually the Usual. And Im starting to get pretty sick of the Usual. Also probably because Im picky, but eh I cant help that.
So a new issue of Better Homes & Gardens came in the other day and I was looking through it. There was so much amazing food recipes I could just make, But I couldnt. Mainly because of money (and sorta bad weather) but mostly money is the cause to this problem. I was talking to my grandpa just now, & yes hes doing fine. But apparently, the government pays him $96 and $96 ONLY for tax rebates since hes an unemployed American senior citizen living on his own. You would think thats too little already , but then he paused and reminded me that they paid him $96 every 3 months. SERIOUSLY? Thats like $32 a month; a dollar a day. What can you buy? Nothing. Thats petty money. $32 a month is what 9 year olds get for their allowance. This is a 76 year old man, and I asked him why it was so low. But of course, youd know. The economy, the taxes, the increasing number of life support customers, it affects everyone. When I hear this though, all I think is just "Wow." My 76 year old grandpa only gets $96 every three months when there are people I know who complain about ONLY getting $20 a week. I hate those kind of people. Appreciate what you have people, because before you know it, it may as well be gone. And then you really have something to complain about. Well, I guess this is just something so utterly amazing that we can never understand till you actually go out there and become that poor son that lives a minimum waged Mcdonalds life. Good luck.
Well on another note, I had an intresting dream last night. All I remember is that I was standing in front of this dark long electric stove and I was trying to make a quesidilla. But it was like a burrito, and I kept stuffing cheese inside so it could be even more extra cheesy and delicious. But I had to stuff it fast, or the burrito quesidilla would burn, which it did. And then it exploded, and I freaked out. Then I woke up. Yeah, Idk. But I wonder what it means..
Well, despite my expectations, I find myself placed in motion by memories so amazingly unreal until all that I am left with is the mark of stark realization that something beyond explanation is actually happening in my life. You, my dear Moonpie, are no Little Debbie. You might think youre in the same league as that crappy nutter butter knock off treat, though. Dare to dream, Mr. sugary snack. Dare to dream.
On that note, Im feeling for a snack. Why am I always so hungry now? But even if I see food at home, I cant eat it. Well, I choose not to eat it. Because its usually the Usual. And Im starting to get pretty sick of the Usual. Also probably because Im picky, but eh I cant help that.
So a new issue of Better Homes & Gardens came in the other day and I was looking through it. There was so much amazing food recipes I could just make, But I couldnt. Mainly because of money (and sorta bad weather) but mostly money is the cause to this problem. I was talking to my grandpa just now, & yes hes doing fine. But apparently, the government pays him $96 and $96 ONLY for tax rebates since hes an unemployed American senior citizen living on his own. You would think thats too little already , but then he paused and reminded me that they paid him $96 every 3 months. SERIOUSLY? Thats like $32 a month; a dollar a day. What can you buy? Nothing. Thats petty money. $32 a month is what 9 year olds get for their allowance. This is a 76 year old man, and I asked him why it was so low. But of course, youd know. The economy, the taxes, the increasing number of life support customers, it affects everyone. When I hear this though, all I think is just "Wow." My 76 year old grandpa only gets $96 every three months when there are people I know who complain about ONLY getting $20 a week. I hate those kind of people. Appreciate what you have people, because before you know it, it may as well be gone. And then you really have something to complain about. Well, I guess this is just something so utterly amazing that we can never understand till you actually go out there and become that poor son that lives a minimum waged Mcdonalds life. Good luck.
Well on another note, I had an intresting dream last night. All I remember is that I was standing in front of this dark long electric stove and I was trying to make a quesidilla. But it was like a burrito, and I kept stuffing cheese inside so it could be even more extra cheesy and delicious. But I had to stuff it fast, or the burrito quesidilla would burn, which it did. And then it exploded, and I freaked out. Then I woke up. Yeah, Idk. But I wonder what it means..
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Swear To Howdy
Okay, you guys, next time I say Im going to get a haircut; slap me in the face and convince me not to. Thanks.
So yeah, finals, 2 more weeks of school, presentations are all coming up. Sighh. Ive been thinking about the general of things lately. It feels like everythings pretty planned out, like I know everything that is going to happen. There are no more surprises. Everythings so damm boring, I know.
So yeah, finals, 2 more weeks of school, presentations are all coming up. Sighh. Ive been thinking about the general of things lately. It feels like everythings pretty planned out, like I know everything that is going to happen. There are no more surprises. Everythings so damm boring, I know.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
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