I'm going to drive myself insane one day.

"Never make a decision when youre angry, never make a promise when youre happy."
Theres nothing quite like trying to study for a chem test you know nothing about when your eyes just want to close shut while fluorescent light glares back without sympathy at your slouched position in a spinning chair but yet all you can do is lift your head towards the computer screen and type barely sensical thoughts of fatigue into a blog post.

You see I'm checked out and I haven't checked back in.
Since you walked out, I don't know where you've been.
You see I'm falling, falling apart.
So come put me back together baby, show me where to start.
Somehow I got away from you. I don't know how to reach you.

I've been maxed out since I don't know when.
So thin and stretched out, I'm crawling in my skin.
And now I'm stalling, waiting for you.
So come give me an answer baby, or else we're through.
I'm holding on to something that's not there, but I don't know how to leave you.

You see I'd checked out, but now I'm checked back in.
And I've got no doubt, I'll never be the same.
Cause I was falling, falling apart,
But he put me back together baby, he restored my heart.
I finally got away from you--about time I released you.

People who create are my kind of people.

I don’t understand how my mood can change from being so happy, to ignoring and hating everything in less than a day. & when I feel like this, school and people arent really the best place for me to be. sorry about that. But to answer your question, there is no doubt in my mind that I have opened my heart. For the past few months, I have been in my own fairytale. I have been drowning, yet I haven’t realized it. I have been extremely selfish. I havent the slightest idea where to go from here. I need to wake up and realize that, that time in my days will never come back, no matter how tightly I hold on.

Thank you for Infomercials!

Pacman pasta, cereal bits, catchy showtune songs, cheerio steroids, and when cartoon network was at its best. The good times. I think the great thing about those commercials back then is that they were so dreamy and amazingly overexaggerated. Really, have you ever seen a commercial in the 1950s-80s about proactiv or loosing weight? The difference between the ads then, I guess, is that now, we focus too much on our appearance and fake worries rather than life itself.

"I said to my soul be still and wait without hope for hope would be hope for the wrong thing."

I write to remember. but for tonight, its helping me forget. All these happenings going on in my mindless nights, I really do not know what to make of it. Its leaving me with these delusions and confusions and sleepless headaches. Usually, they start off casual and great, then they become worse and worse till I open my eyes with an early morning sweat till I cant sleep anymore. I feel as if I may be my own with these horrible thoughts, so I end up not sleeping the rest of the night, out of fear or a phase of nostalgia, or maybe both. I really do not know what to make of this, but as of now, I want to bash my head on my desk and get this images out. eh but its probably not going to fix anything, especially since Im starting to get a headache.