Impulsssscision

CONS: Yes, it's two days to prom.
-Yes, you have no experience in making actual clothes (or using your sewing machine).
-You already spent $140 on a dress that doesn't fit after spending two afternoons arguing with a bush-mouthed manager.
-You're rushing everyone around you to help and bothering them to grudging thoughts.
-Your grade will drop from having to retake two tests after the last day of the six week grading period.
-Everyone professional claims it is impossible to do so in so little time.
-Everyone says you can't do it.

PROS: I'm going to look damm sexy.

Looks like the pros outweigh the cons! It's 10:28 PM, Thursday night and I have no intention of resting anytime soon. My blood is coursing with caffeine to push me on through the night. I absolutively must get this done. It's so depressing how I work the best under stress and pressure, seeing how I tend to always put things off to last minute until the full force of the situation hits. So many things to prepare, and I'm far from finished. Why oh why do all my good ideas always come so last minute? Well break time over, back to the sewing machines. Be like Nike.

How to Bargain w/o Really Trying

17 years of living half an hour away from one of the most unexpectedly exciting cities in the world and I never got to experience any of these hidden diners and cafes. We spent all afternoon today experiencing the aesthetic appeals of LA. From tasting exotic rattlesnake rabbit sausages, visiting more restaurant inspirations, haggle shopping, and meeting other imaginary communities; it was a good last day to this year's spring break. I was smiling like an idiot the whole time. Shame I couldn't take any pictures worth looking at. Anyways, it seems like every time we make a trip to the Rose Bowl Flea Market, the weather decides to blaze searing hot sun rays on our delicate bodies. But despite the heat, I was able to get some really good deals today. I really think I'm getting a hang of this bargaining!

Tips I learned:
-Only haggle when cash is involved and there is no set price
-Set a really low price for a reason (point out rips, stains, wears & tears), you can always haggle your way up to a compromised price
-Combine two items for a cheaper price (2 $15 bags for $25)
-Be able to perceive which seller is rude and which doesn't care about what price, as long as they have the money (Dunn let them rude ones get your money)
-Don't be swayed by the seller's reasons for their unbelievably ridiculous pricing, if it's too high then don't buy it (no matter how amazing that leather green backpack may be)
-Be confident in your stated price
-State an imaginary competitor's lower price, if they believe you and if they're that desperate for money, then you got your deal (muahaha)

That is all. Happy Bargaining/Easter/Last day of break/&homework cram day. Oh goodness, back to school. What a drag. Time to lose my soul again to brainless thinking meh.

what a bore

I've misplaced my glasses. Now my vision is slightly impaired, contributing to my future squint wrinkles. Oh sight. Now I have to commit to gathering enough energy at the end of the day to drag myself to the bathroom and apply these night contacts that don't seem to work no matter how many times I put them on. My vision will always be slightly impaired.

I was listening to my ipod today. Ipod not itouch because I destroyed it in the process of hopelessly fixing its cracked screen. My ipod kept making heaving last breaths until it died on me completely.

Every little item to help make my life a little bit easier has failed on me today.

Boo hoo.

I wonder if a glasses gnome took it.

I even googled it. No response. But I did find this article. About how our minds coincide constantly with our long and short term memories to make decisions and forget things.

I wonder if I tapped into my short term memories, I would be able to find my glasses somewhere in there.

I wonder about how limited our minds remember things. That if we truly were able to tap into the other part of our unconsciousness, we would remember and understand everything. Limitless. I hope this were true. Then I could find my glasses.

I wonder if I can start lucid dreaming.

I sit on a chair there to think about where my glasses could possibly be. Then my mind drifts to other sounds. A conversation begins citing questions that I never dreamed of asking. The idea of doing the unthinkable by a feeling so real. I've been quite curious lately on how to achieve such a feat. I've been curious of a lot of things.

Then I wake up.

How realistic my dreams have become. How boring.

And I still have not found my glasses.

Jealousy is not a good feeling. I need a way to cleanse it out before it rots my whole being.

Like gold to airy thinness beat

To see it’s figure, it’s outline, the ideas and beautiful thoughts forming but still hazy. Hazy enough to keep me quiet and hurting. It hurts. This irritating silence. You're my only problem right now and I can't even confront it. I can’t think. I’m in a state before thinking. I see it, but only bits and pieces. I’m so frustrated. Why can’t I communicate these thoughts. I do know that I am frustrated. I do know that I hate the feeling I get every time I hear your godforsaken name - seeing how happy you are. How pathetic it is that all my thoughts end leading back to you. I really am holding onto something that's destroying me every second aren't I? Yet I still have this masochistic need to make you things - maybe for another chance? But must I be so pathetic around you? Why waste my thoughts that only lead me to disappointment? You've stretched my hope thin. And not in the optimistic way Robert Parker writes to his distanced lover, but in a far worse way that's made me the pathetic weak being I've become because of this. I feel so betrayed and hurt. But there's nothing I can do but float along with your genuinely good hearted sappy niceness GOD it makes me sick to see how nice you are. Why do you have to be such a good person? Makes it even worse knowing I hate you. Makes me feel like a terrible person. I'm a terrible person. My pride has a hard time accepting this defeat. There's really nothing I could do but secretly hate you like any other immature child would do. And because of you, I now have a hard time trusting people. Because of you, I have a hard time having faith in anything. Thanks for that.

This mental stagnation is such a problem. I constantly find I am able to give answers to others when I find myself still held back, unable to move ahead and accept anything as comforting. Putting my thoughts to the test and even reading. And yet I could feel what a sham my true motives are. I'm searching for answers but silently I hear a secret voice, telling me this mental stagnation is now a comfort. Or is it? Je n'ai aucune idée.

Been a fool for weeks
'Cause my heart stands for nothing and your soul's too weak
Got a will that's been around for days
Goes far if you want it, it needs to behave.