I'm going to drive myself insane one day.

"Never make a decision when youre angry, never make a promise when youre happy."
Theres nothing quite like trying to study for a chem test you know nothing about when your eyes just want to close shut while fluorescent light glares back without sympathy at your slouched position in a spinning chair but yet all you can do is lift your head towards the computer screen and type barely sensical thoughts of fatigue into a blog post.

You see I'm checked out and I haven't checked back in.
Since you walked out, I don't know where you've been.
You see I'm falling, falling apart.
So come put me back together baby, show me where to start.
Somehow I got away from you. I don't know how to reach you.

I've been maxed out since I don't know when.
So thin and stretched out, I'm crawling in my skin.
And now I'm stalling, waiting for you.
So come give me an answer baby, or else we're through.
I'm holding on to something that's not there, but I don't know how to leave you.

You see I'd checked out, but now I'm checked back in.
And I've got no doubt, I'll never be the same.
Cause I was falling, falling apart,
But he put me back together baby, he restored my heart.
I finally got away from you--about time I released you.

People who create are my kind of people.

I don’t understand how my mood can change from being so happy, to ignoring and hating everything in less than a day. & when I feel like this, school and people arent really the best place for me to be. sorry about that. But to answer your question, there is no doubt in my mind that I have opened my heart. For the past few months, I have been in my own fairytale. I have been drowning, yet I haven’t realized it. I have been extremely selfish. I havent the slightest idea where to go from here. I need to wake up and realize that, that time in my days will never come back, no matter how tightly I hold on.

Thank you for Infomercials!

Pacman pasta, cereal bits, catchy showtune songs, cheerio steroids, and when cartoon network was at its best. The good times. I think the great thing about those commercials back then is that they were so dreamy and amazingly overexaggerated. Really, have you ever seen a commercial in the 1950s-80s about proactiv or loosing weight? The difference between the ads then, I guess, is that now, we focus too much on our appearance and fake worries rather than life itself.

"I said to my soul be still and wait without hope for hope would be hope for the wrong thing."

I write to remember. but for tonight, its helping me forget. All these happenings going on in my mindless nights, I really do not know what to make of it. Its leaving me with these delusions and confusions and sleepless headaches. Usually, they start off casual and great, then they become worse and worse till I open my eyes with an early morning sweat till I cant sleep anymore. I feel as if I may be my own with these horrible thoughts, so I end up not sleeping the rest of the night, out of fear or a phase of nostalgia, or maybe both. I really do not know what to make of this, but as of now, I want to bash my head on my desk and get this images out. eh but its probably not going to fix anything, especially since Im starting to get a headache.

Phoenix, You are my new Beatles

mmmm Yoshinoya chickann bowl.

For Cammi yellow toes. Youve gotta love Phoenix and their music. Its the kind of music thats so unbelievably cool and upbeat way that makes you want to nod your feet and tap your head. You kind of just forget everything else and concentrate more on the now then the then or when. mmhhmm..

Well Ima go get some more Mystery Jets music.

Musical Eargasms (and the list goes on..)
-Phoenix -Mystery Jets -Telekinesis -Beirut -Travis -Voxtrot -Vampire Weekend -The Strokes -Kings of Convenience -Sondre Lerche -Hot Chip -Ratatat -Whitest Boy Alive -Cut Copy -Alex Salazaar

Havent been updating lately have I?

Summer Weekend

Where would you go with a lasso. Friday. Saturday. SUNDAY. Monday. We need more weekends like these. More hallmark companies, more presidents to make more holidays, more mothers and fathers and whatnot who dont feel appreciated enough so we have a day off. Just one day off and thats all it takes. Exploring the resort, pancakes, getting lost in hollywood, The Grove, Chinese Theater, underwater fishes, and expensive pizza topped the end to a great day and three day weekend.

So while on our epic adventure out in hollywood, I learned about some very annoying news. Some stupid insurance company from chicago wants to sell their land (that apparently contains the hollywood sign) to build homes on the amazing worldfamous Hollywood sign. They bought the land for 2 million and are gonna sell it for 12 million. Wtf. Why is it always about money now? I thought all those newage movies and books did something to the public but I guess not.Well so apparently, theres also this enviromentalist conservatist group from Sanfransico thats organizing this whole thing to save the hollywood sign. If theyre able to raise 12 mill by april, then the sign will be saved from demolition and snobby homes and built into a national park connected with Griffith Observatory for future tourists to see. So the SFpeoples made a deal with LA county to put up a sign telling people to "Save the Peak" for at least a week. Apparently tomorrows the last day. And thats what we saw. Pretty crazy stuff out there..

Tuesday. Today. It was just another normal day with the 6 period days. No school yesterday thanks to the lovely holidays, but today was summer bucket hot. I very much hate this weather already. Everything is consistent and Im trying this time to actually have motivation to do things. Even though Im finishing my homework now and sleeping more, but Im still failing, well asian standard wise anyways. But thats gotta stop. Sitting in front of the computer doing homework and watching endless youtube videos. Which is okay, the endless youchoob that is. Sighzers, school is so easy to avoid these days. Its whether you want to, or can afford to, thats the problem. Well the afternoon came and went. good day. Yah?

Ouhs and I has permit! For about a while now. Yeayeyuuh. July here I come.

FUCK

Velocity

I finished my homework early today so time felt like forever. I just went through each class like nothing, almost passing out during lunch just to fall asleep. I just dont want to be there. Id much prefer to be home, either alone or with the one person Id feel comfortable enough to be completely silent with. I dont know why Ive been so sleepy. Its weird cause Ive even been sleeping like I should around 9 ish lately and Id wake up with an even more shitface than I would have if I slept at 2 am. Love how that works out.

Moving on. >>

My great escape has disappeared in the hands of my partners.

& Dean Koontz has just become my most favorite writer of all time in over a night.

Weve decided to read Velocity by Dean Koontz for an english project.

But for some reason every book store only holds one copy of any kind of book , except for Twilight.

Wtf.

Well Velocity is the type of book that hooks you in two pages into the story & wants to keep you reading & reading (unless the barnes and noble policy of having one book at each store gets in the way of your english project leaving you with the only choice to share the book with your partners), its pretty amazing.

He creates a world that is easy identifiable and makes he his readers paranoid of everything chilling them to the bone. His ingenious writing is so fucking fantastic I swear any of his writings are worth a second read. Which sucks because I cant read it tonight. Sighss.

Annyways, I think Ill go watch some british Galaxy series now. Ive also decided that everytime I blog, I will call my grandpa immediately after, depending on the time. I need to call my grandpa more.. That is all. Nightlaa.